Some people find that it is difficult to connect to certain events in their life or their feelings. Dissociation is an experience where people feel disconnected from their sensory experiences but also their sense of where they are, who they are, sense of self or what they are doing.
When Jodie asked me to write a blog my first reaction was "do not be ridiculous, I am not recovered enough/it won't be good enough"– all the default negative self-talk rose straight to the surface, one of the very issues that kept me stuck in depression and an eating disorder for years. (Jodie and I have traced the first signs of my ED back to when I was 11 years old, and I am now 25). However, having said this, this is both challenging and essential for me to write in order to diminish shame and to give hope to anyone struggling that it does get easier. With Jodie’s (or other eating disorder specialist's) help, I am beginning to see a real light at the end of the tunnel.
On February 16th 1998, I suffered a life changing trauma.
I bottled that trauma up, pushed it deep inside and self medicated with booze, drugs, food, and denial.
Over the years, I tried to speaking to Drs and had counselling for my eating disorder but I would always fall back into old behaviours.
Without knowing the cause you can’t find the cure.
EMDR has been an incredibly hard experience. It isn’t for the faint of hearted. However I can say that I have experienced positive results and it is worth it.
I started recovery from Bulimia three years ago and Jodie kindly asked me if I would write about my experiences of what helped and what did not help me.
I saw Jodie for EMDR to process an extremely painful memory of a suicide attempt I had been carrying around with me for 16 years. I really was not mucking about and my experience of my parents finding out was incredibly traumatic.
I recently completed the first part of my EMDR training. For those of you who do not know what this is, its a form of psychotherapy which uses eye movements or other forms of bilateral stimulation to assist clients in processing distressing events.
People often ask me about my job and I tend not to get much time to think about it between balancing work and three children. Someone I met asked me again this weekend. How did I get into my work? Do I like it? Don't I cry all the time? etc, etc. Aside from that I always find at this time of year I start becoming reflective in the lead up to year end.
The key to success with DBT is practice.
One acronym to distract from distress in a healthy way is
I have recently been studying and exploring the world of DBT and started to implement this within my practice . Many of the clients I meet struggle not to harm themselves in some way when they feeling overwhelmed. Self harm comes in the form of substance abuse, acting out sexually, cutting, burning, starving, bingeing, purging to name just a few vices.
It seems counterintuitive but the worst thing families can do to "help" someone struggling with an addiction is to rescue them from the consequences of their behaviour.
In my last blog I spoke about the types of thinking errors (cognitive distortions) that we are prone to in order to maintain our core beliefs which often do not serve us. One really simple exercise to challenge thoughts is keeping a thoughts record. I often use this with my clients. When you feel distressed it can be useful to do the following:
Christmas and New years can be a daunting time for people in early recovery from alcohol who are practising abstinence. Here's some top tips for getting through those family occasions and parties....
People suffering from anxiety are prone to something called cognitive distortions or thinking errors. These thinking errors are ways that our minds convince us that are core beliefs (the beliefs we form about ourselves and the world in childhoood) are true. Common thinking errors include a few of the following:
We all go through periods in our life when we worry more than at other times. However worry is normally appropriate and proportionate to the situation at the time. For example your child leaving home for the first time and wondering if they will be living of baked beans for the rest of their lives. These thoughts are not obsessional and do not stop you going about your day to day life. However someone with anxiety is crippled with worry and it effects their daily functioning. They won't get in a car because they are convinced they will be in an accident.
Mainstone Counselling Ltd reg number 11338192
27 Avenue Mansions, NW3 7AX
